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Assembly - Stage Partners


 Absurdist comedy

  One-act. 25-30 minutes

 15-50+ actors, flexible

 This is not your typical school assembly. Or is it? After yesterday's mysterious incident, all classes are gathered to learn how to be better students and more importantly how to sell more jalapeño creamed corn cookies for the school fundraiser. Let the safety experts explain how to stop a bear from attacking your school and sitting on you. And, if you are really good, you may even be treated to a special visit from someone called The Man with the Tie. Just don’t pay any mind to all the students being escorted out of the assembly. As you know, there are two kinds of students—those who get smiley faces and those who get frowny faces—and as long as you follow directions, you’ll be fine. An absurdist send-up of the ridiculous school assemblies we've all come to know and dread.

"Jubilantly bizarre! From the cartoonish to the creepy, there [is] enough to thrill and entertain both the kids in the crowd and their parents." --Matt Mueller, OnMilwaukee

“As silly as it is imaginative…You don’t need to be a teacher, administrator or student to get the fast-paced, high-impact comedy behind this absurd piece of insanity — but it might help!” -- Jenny Sejansky, West Volusia Beacon

Royalty fee per performance: $55. Script fee for Printable PDF: $150 (print/copy as many times as you need for your production)

Author suggestions for virtual performances are available. A video for Scene 5 is also available for use. Contact us at for more info.

Read the full play below - for free!

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